Touch

Not sure of where to start,
As, for the first time,  words seem to escape me.
The weightage of all that I feel-
Overwhelming.
I see my house now-
With a rekindled wonderment-
Awe at your touch.
It looks like a place to live in-
Than just exist.
All the changes that you've brought-
Could possibly make me a better person.
Always aloof and distant,
Not expressive or emotive-
I had always been aware and afraid of your presence.
Yet now,
I crave it,
When absent and in void.
The luminosity of your soul-
Sears through me now-
Like a knife-
Carving out a pathway for rivulets.
Retreating to the cocoon
That your love had brought-
As we traveled to a new horizon-
Of azure blue sky and cotton clouds;
I feel turtled and hedged.
I do know, that your touch is ever-present,
In my life and dreams,
I just need to reach out for it.
But how much valued is a physical presence,
In contrast to a memory?
Bits and pieces shared-
Treasured, as I revealed some,
To your concerned eyes.
I know the reasons for which you live-
And I feel incapacitated,
Not being able to shine in your eyes.
Intent and act remain divergent thus-
Unknowingly, the rift drifts.
I miss the reassurance,
Of your wisdom and technical support-
To an otherwise hapless and careless.
I think of days left-
Fearful,
Of what all I need to yet achieve-
And hope that time doesn't run out on me.
In my world,
I want to live your dreams.
See the world with you-
And through your eyes.
Show you both,
Life in wonder-land
In it's multi-rayed and hued beauty.
Words have always been a poor testimony,
To all that I mean to do or say.
I would only wish for the sand-timer,
To stay frozen.