Shadows

I see our shadows,
Play in the sun.
The breadth of your shoulders-
My horizon.
We hold hands
In darkness.
Where the prying eyes
Rest easy.
Shyness honeycoats
Our innocence.
Joy seems a scope-
Revisited.
We allow ourselves to drift free.
Burdenless we seek
Happiness in togetherness.
Its a smooth flow then,
Without hangups,
Marring our progress.
No cobwebs of artificiality.
No thoughts spiral unannounced.
Life carries on-
At its own pace-
Carefree- a melody.
Peace reigns supreme-
Like a rivulet-
A stream of hope cascade,
Dreams seem a ready brooke-
A needed shelter,
Amidst all chaos.

Panacea

    

At times,

                                                            

Its so much  

Easier to reach out.
Shed all defences.
All false attempts at a fake vanity.
That proves inadequate a sheath.
At times,
Its so much easier,
To just let go.
Exfoliate.
Let it out.
Yet the pent up,
Finds no panacea.
Torn in its clutches,
It may cry for freedom.
But chooses to crush against,
Its own shackles.
Faith seems,
The hardest path,
To walk straight in.
The desired end,
Seems tantalizingly elusive then.
A test of grit,
Versus Time,
Deludes,
The sense of freedom thus.
Progressive,
Yet archaic,
The mind wanders,
In its meandering path.
Far from all.
It seeks isolation,
For its own completion.

A Step Behind

I feel your essence,
Every time I let my mind drift
To thoughts of you.
It envelopes me,
Shelters me in its cocoon.
I feel your warmth,
Despite the bite of
The distance.
Despite the chill,
In the air-
Where the words hang
Suspended- frozen.
Yet every time
I look back,
I know,
You are there-
A step behind.
I want to,
Reach out to you.
Shed all imaginary inhibitions.
Reach out to that light,
That surrounds you.
And illumines you to me.
Makes me wondrous,
Of our journey so far.
We've traveled far and wide,
Crossed the many twists and turns,
Of fate,
And the streams of pessimism.
We've held on-
Steadfast-
Against all tides of change.
Yet why do we now,
Stand at crossroads today.
Not finding a solution yet?
Why can't we be?
The way we have known each other to be?
Happy, contented, succint and confident-
By ourselves-
Together-
As one?

Thoughts

Left in my solitude,
My mind inevitably,
Turns towards you.
All the moments lived,
Flashes past,
In my mind's eye.
Leaving me powerless.
Defenseless-
In their onslaught.
I try to push you,
Out of my thoughts.
But everywhere I look,
Your name resonates.
There is an imprint of you,
In every sphere of my existence.
A wry smile-
Spreads-
At the futility of
All efforts to expunge.
Across the many miles,
I feel more a part of you-
Than apart.
I feel more connected to you,
Than distance may give space to.
I've no sense of right or wrong-
Anymore.
Nor do I know,
What I should want.
Confusion,
Mars my way.
As I let thoughts
Of finality,
Ring a death knell.
Yet deep down inside,
Its not that
What I would have wanted.
Maybe,
Its all for the greater good,
That I will have to
Shed a part of me.
Unwillingly-
Turn my back
On you.
Uncaring of all that
Others have said-
I've always believed in you.
Yet today,
I stand defeated.

Purple Gaze

I traced the patterns,

Under the clear moonlight.

So lovingly held,

In the heat of,

The purple gaze.

The upturned contours-

Defined- Sharp-

In their arrogance.

Craggy-

In its silvery silhoutte.

Perhaps,

It was the last time,

I set my eyes,
On your beauty.
Distance is,
What I shall maintain.
Keep a check-
Hold back.

Near - yet so far-

You looked complete,
In the street light glow.
The embers of your eyes-
Mellow.
Soft brown
Tinged with all that I know.
Rivulets of empathy,
Flood both our beings.
As we remain torn inside.
By choice.
By voice.
Eaten up inside,
By all second thoughts.
Yet giving no room
For regrets.
We now reap the seeds,
Of the germs we had sown.
Mirthless in companionship,
A lot of hushed whispers-

Suppressed.

We now live-

Drifted apart.

Our path chosen,

With pride,

We remain ever possessive,

Of all that

We cant leave behind.

Hours

Looking back

I marvel,

How those few hours,

Could change me so much.

Alter my life path

So drastically.

Open my eyes,

To a new possible high.

A new route-

Where freedom-

And being free has

A new address.

Reborn-

With a new found resolve.

Truth,

I had never shunned away-

As an integral part of me.

I am as natural

As you are.

Crystallized images

Of the time spent-

Etched deep in my memory-

Give me a reason-

To just be me.

Let it be.

Leave all thoughts behind.

But forge on.

To whatever

Is destined to be the end.

Coz the end scares me no more.

I am stronger now.

Was it your afterglow?

I march ahead.

With no thoughts of regret.

What had to happen,

Naturally happened

For the very best.

Why question and curse?

I have long left behind

My walls of self-depreciation.

A self-deprecated living

Was not for me.

I am glad-

For the hours then-

Quite magical

In their intensity-

They illumine my life-

And fill up my thoughts.

Bubbles of joy

Rise up.

Who cares

About the ultimate end.

Good or bad?

As long as the now

Is good enough?

What is the Point?

What do we need to

Talk about now-

When all has been said and done-

Too many times.

When all the wrongs-

Are too much sedimented,

To be undone.

Drifted apart-

Miles away.

Our thoughts divergent,

From all that we had dreamot up of-

Once.

Long ago.

What is the point in

Rehashing the past?

When it is dead.

For you.

For me.

There is no going back now.

The ego is too well

Sunk in.

Deep-rooted.

There is no time for,

Rethinking things over.

We both have

Coursed ahead in our

Distrust.

Too far.

Beyond belief.

There is no place for,

You and me –

Together-

Anymore.

The linear existence,

Shall travel time ridden,

Separate paths.

Never daring to hope

For a convergence-

Ever.

That would be

Killing all germs of

A new life.

A sacrifice,

For which,

Neither have the

Courage to muster.

Failed- in the test of time,

What is the point then,

In sharing the space together.

What is the point then,

In letting the coffee cups,

Cool down-

Irreparably?

While both pairs of vision,

Would scatter away happily,

To a place,

Where knowledge is not free.

And the feet would tap

To an unheard rhythm.

Smiles would be hollow,

As also the apparent concern.

What is the point then,

To see each other

Again.

One more time?

Broom Vroom..

Happily have left behind

All my dark clouds.

Gloom can settle in-

And unsettle me no more.

High up on a cloud so,

I fly and soar ,

On that Halloween broom,

Left behind by you.

As the magic of you-

Can only make joyous thoughts,

Fleet and bleat in my mind’s territory.

Not looking for much,

Yet floating on,

On an endless incredible flow-

I rest relaxed-

As the past ties,

Act as shackles no more.

I seek no reason-

And no explanations .

Of Now and Then.

Only hope,

That both can be

As happy,

As we desire.

Sensitized only to

The optimist in you,

It feels great,

To give stupidity

A chance.

Two worlds-

Separate-

 Disparate.

Yet, the dream webs,

Are getting entangled-

Out of their own

Accord.

Feels good to

Just Let it be-

Leave the control button

And rest easy.

A joyride,

Through the endless pastel shades-

As natural as existence.

Feels good—

To just,

Shake my head thus-

And say-

Time,

Will show me the way.

Simulacrum- A Simulation..

Its funny,
When I look back now.
At all the promises,
That had to bite the dust
So soon.
All the fiery words-
Lay in smouldering ashes
Of mistrust.
Finally- the bond-
Was snapped.
The last thread
Of control-
Vanished overnight.
Self-respect, love for self-
Could live in denial,
No more.
The ugly head of arrogance,
Had to raise its head-
Eventually.
Ego flared up-
As logic crumbled.
Like a loosely bound,
Pack of cards.
An ironical humour,
Crosses my thoughts.
At the peurile folly of it all.
Regret??
No place for a secondary association.
Life is still apace-
In its many hazes and mazes.
Why live in crushed hopes?
When all that we had lived for
Was a simulacrum-
Asimulation of our twisted thoughts?

Messy

A messed up mind,

Is what I am left with-

With thoughts,  right or wrong-

I cant really perceive.

Distance seems greater

Each time.

As I try to reconnect.

Rebond?

 A joke.

All I know ,

Is that I’m

Going with the flow.

Loving it…

And hating it-

As well.

I’m leading

A different life now.

Far away

From the one

I’d known.

The fresh air-

A respite.

But at what price?

It’s a paradigm shift almost.

Yet I cant seem to

Press the delete option.

Life’s taken a strange turn.

Suddenly I’m at crossroads.

Unknown - so far-

Lies the right direction.

Where should the right direction point to?

Will it be

A lasting “pleasant surprise?”

Or a negation

Of the new-

Retracing the footprints-

Lost in the sands of time?

How did I dig my own grave?

When will I wake up?

And see the sun rise,

In the right east?

Or is it too bad to,

Drift aimless in your dream?

Floating on- 

Waiting for the Messiah-

To signal the Beginning,

Of the End.

And the Awakening.