Cobwebs

Looking at you,

I yearn to remove the cobwebs.

And give you the strength to carry on-

Yet frozen remain certain movements,

Alarmed at the alacrity of turns.

Sure of the umbrella truth,

Yet granules are heavier to absorb.

Wish I could turn all obtuse absurdity,

To a defining philosophy of harmony.

Yet, if reality, were to reveal itself,

It will come undone with it's grim sad eyes.

Watchful of any fall,

But half-alive with a sinking feeling in gut.

No, it's not a happy place to be in-

For me and you.

Sorrow etched on both faces,

As lines of resignation to the flow-

Fighting and fighting on -

For what's right?

But, if I may ask-

Right and wrong,

Who decides?

It's what feels correct to comply and compound.

Yet, happiness is not a state of mind.

And it shall never be so.

Given all that is there to lose out on.

I tell you, to choose your path to joy-

Peace, or whatever you know of it.

Am I enough to symbolize the sum?

In my eyes, I don't see it as a sin-

What's happening is what is written in the stars.

But you and I are different-

I am hard and coarse-

You are far more emotional and emoting than me.

Must you be jaded so?

I cannot be happy-

As I know you aren't.

Plus, it's inner ethics, cringing at the turns.

This is not me-

Not what I imagined anything to be-

In life and love.

Much against my identity,

The signage of times, 

Goes past a fast blackening point.

Blurred ends zoom out larger-

This is not what I could have wanted ever.

I feel for a certain  little one.

And no matter what,

I can be there for it too - if ever.

But that's not my district of justice,

I have to adjust to what meager will feel just.

Actually, in all this,

I am not me.

Neither you.

But with each other, we're real and true.

I shall hold back nothing that you deserve-

Even if it goes against my own dreams.

For love remains supreme,

As my path of life-

And not a warpath.

It's an inner conflict,

Of questioning irony or the worth.

Guilt and shades of remorse,

Honestly mars any joy.

It's your smile that I fight for.

But have I killed it, already?

Who am I really, to wreck peace in your world?

I shrug, not getting any answer.

I cannot look away,

It's straining you.

How can I not see that?

I wish, oh, I so wish-

That this was not the way anything was meant to be.

This is not me.