Run Run Run

I want to run too,
On the treadmill,
Or the road.
With feet pounding-
Venting out all that goes on inside.
I wish,
I had the energy for my earlier pace now.
I see others.
And let jealousy overtake my rationale.
With all gone haywire,
At least running brings in my modicum of sanity,
Back in my life.
And I really want to feel the air,
Gushing past me-
Like all my senses heightened beyond,
The silent scream born out of intense rage.
Yes, anger suffuses me,
As I feel all that I never want to feel ever.
All the hatred against the harsh faces,
Get stuck with nowhere to go.
All the trivial specks of rivalry and unhealthy competition-
Find no outlet.
It's like sweat,
That doesn't pour.
I want to run,
Amok-
Out of my mind.
Leave the drudgery of Gurgaon behind-
And fade into my own rainbow-
Nowhere to find.
I want to feel the hard-work,
Grinding under my feet.
As perfection itself seems an absolute illusion now.
Much beyond vanity,
I want to run out my own insanity.
I want to leave all my self-hate intact-
As a wreck ball gone havoc.
Guess, cracks are indeed surfacing-
From all the mindlessness that I am facing-
All that I want to rip, tear and kill-
With my blood boiling.
Yet, I think of a loved face,
And that stops me from retaliating-
From the foolish ways of a 'pretty' poor being-
Or the retarded ways of a demented forsaken pebble.
That face alone,
Gives me just a sliver of peace-
Yet as it saps me off my own energy;
Making me love and hate it equally-
Yet treasure it with all the goodness
That encourages me to go on.
But I do need to run-
Rebuild me, as my earlier me.
Of which I know just a skeleton-
Or just must trace the transition.
I want to burn,
As I run.