Que Sera Sera

The last day,

We'd met,

Made me question,

The parsimonious words,

That we dared to share in the interim.

Was it all to fill up gaps?

Spaces that we can't let be seen?

Maybe over that coffee,

I could have told you more,

Or maybe at night over that shot,

I could have spilled my beans to you too.

But is it at all a mandate,

To open up and embitter more?

True, all we had was a lot of fire to shed-

That incinerated us both

And left chars in our wake.

Tears ruined our nights,

As through days, 

We'd sought empty company.

But then again,

Nights now with you -

Seem unnatural?

Or is it as it was meant to be?

Yes, I did notice

How you'd left the nan

On my plate,

Just the way I liked it.
Or dumped more of the chicken curry,
To make me eat,
As you'd never seen me so physically weak.

Or even stay up at night,

And feel my fever rising up,

To soothe it back to normal.

Love-conditioned were you-

I could ask with a smile.

Yet, I know the action carried

An essence of your thought-

As you've tried to mend it all-

And be there as someone new.

Can I be that too?

As a friend,

For I can be nothing more now.

I feel the love,

But it's a glow now-

Of times shared,

As I would like to carry the goodness ahead.

We did grow up with each other-

Through all the college days and now a steady career.

Just that, I have failed to be your carrier.

All I have in defence,

Is that I have tried-

In all honesty and truth-

But could not strike the chord needed to re-try.

Perhaps never shall.

I love someone else now,

And will forever-

Or so I feel.

But then again,

That's me - as you know best.

I follow my heart and follow it through 

Till all burns.

With you,

It was the same too.

I do feel the pangs of guilt,

Coursing every now and then-

Thinking about the dreams we'd left,

Ours and our parents'.

I saw the same question in your brother's eyes too,
The other night we'd met.
Yet, I was happy,
That you'd acted on the streak of humanity-
That you're best known for -
To take me out and let me feel the fresh air.
Mostly I remain expressionless,
To all your nuances-
Just that, I have a keen observation-
And let nothing slide.

I know not,

What the road now,

Would lead to.

Silence or a 'share-point,'

Or just an unassuming path left open-ended?

Point is, it's my impatience to always search for ends-

For I cannot dance to any tune but mine alone.

Just that,

The lack of transparency,

Wasn't by choice as much as loss of voice.

I have no more to vent out now-

I have said it all,

And destroyed some more of your sleep at times.

All I can fervently hope now,

Is that,

We have nothing artificial in between-

But be as floaters alongside.

Maybe in me,

You may always find a friend,

Who would seek to brighten your way ahead.