Faithless

Wrapping her shawl tight,
Around her frame,
She walked on at her usual brisk pace.
Eyes focused ahead -
And hat tightly in place.
She longed for the burst of yellow-
To chase away the gloomy greys.
The sky seemed laden with heavy clouds-
About to pour.
Footsteps crunching on the gravel,
Leaving prints that showed a determined gait-
She marched on-
Towards the gate.
Home, she thought-
Soon I'll be home-
Tucked away from the ferrous eyes of the world,
Pigeon-holed in her solitude.
Single in the city.
She stayed aloof.
Her normal bubbly self -
Sharply distant and curbed.
Watchful and cautious,
She let her cynicism guide her way through.
Trust seemed frail-
As all she'd loved,
Left her in waxed pieces-
Solitary in their blazing trail.
In her mind, she'd reached her end-
Of hopes,  dreams , wants and expectations.
All seemed a curious dead end-
As she felt no reserve of strength
To fight her way through anymore.
She's given up-
On her own path of life-
As the way fell into a smooth flow-
Her current holy grail-
Day in and day out.
The erstwhile joy on seeing cherubs-
Now faded away to a sharp jab,
A tug at her heart,
A streak of anger
And an increasingly embedded melancholy.
She wished she'd not changed much-
Or met her man who'd been a lesson-
To lessen her and her sprite.
To diminish her own self-pride
And leave her begging at the hands of fate.
Yet, she believed in no destiny.
But had no choice.
For her, the wait was over-
As she'd forced herself to accept the inevitability.
She lived with love and its ashes,
Wishing for it to fade and zoom out.
Yet she knew she was done for-
Her road to perdition had ended long ago-
And she would always have to live with a
Smoked salvation on following her heart.
In defeat, she felt her head hang low-
As she let her mind possess her sanity.
All seemed metallic and cold ton her-
People , peers and places-
Remote and wonderless,
As she walked on-
Faithless.