Pointless!

I thought about writing about
My own lack of writing in nowadays.
No more diary-like life for me-
The basic pointlessness of life itself,
A mockery.
The zest for living
Has deserted me long back.
Now I only wait to surrender,
And seek peace.
Life in this earth feels heavier
Everyday.
Carrying on the charade
Of existence,
A double-edged sword.
There is no cause,
Nor any reason to smile.
All seem frozen -
Buried deep inside.
No urge to write too hence -
What's the point anyway?

At the bar!

Hazel eyes burned back

As both stood in the crowded staircase –

The brown curious ones stared back-

Surprised at the halt. 

The thin fingers of a known grip

Fought hard against the pulsating moment –

“Do we look old? “ the voice whispered. 

The softness of tone –

A jar against time.

Both minds raced back

To the well beaten,

Mostly disparate paths

Of the last decade left by. 

One felt the weight of the world

Burdened on his scrawny shoulders.

The other walked on-

A spring in the step

And a smile light on her lips. 

The moment revealed the evolution -

Of their beings and souls.

 No more kids were they anymore -

Eyes candied against the world-

But adults charting a new chapter.

 For one, contentment seemed ablaze-

On her face -  

She thought back to the man with broad shoulders-

Who had made her world complete.

 For the other one, 

The night seemed to lose out its mirth -

As the grey clouds descended with questions -

Of life and existence

,Along his solitary road. 

Poppy !

In her Daddy's arms she walked,

Like the autumn breeze on thirsty shores.

Time stood still as my heart thumped-

Of a sudden known feeling long suffused.

It was -

Love at first sight?

The big eyes looked around,

Scared and wondrous-

Silently and broodingly she surveyed,

The sunny pad- 

Then crept on to her Daddy's lap,

Not able to articulate all that engulfed

Her little heart.

Her baby fingers gripped the known-

But firmly ignoring the touch of the unknown.

Daddy seemed her biggest shelter,

The only friend she could turn to.

Watching her,

My heart swelled with all that

Joy can shade!

Was it possible,

My mind echoed as it reeled-

This odd deja-vu?

Dear Poppy soon found her feet,

And took her fearless 3 feet self,
All around the Sunny flat.

She found the big yellow dog with floppy ears,

In that moment,

I further found conviction-

Of who she was and who I was too!

She asked with her soulful eyes-

Looming large in ponderance,

Illumined by her imaginings-

"Is the doggy sleeping?"

I knew then,

About the heart of gold,

This little angel had.

And she looked on at me-

Courage ringing her intrigued eyes,

She slowly let her guards down-

As she knew, that she could connect too!

Poppy is the Queen of Hearts-

She reigned supreme always.

Her sunny smile had always tugged my heartstrings-

In this life too-

She's no less a miracle.

My little bundle of joy-

Born to people who do not

Seem to see her -

Little Poppy, has miles to go,

And she would-

Her eyes 

Reflecting her soul!

Sade

Age softened eyes,

Now look mellow-

Retrospective in fond memories.

Tinkering laughter,

Love filled moments,

Or, the bitter words exchanged -

All now bring a slow smile,

To set the face aglow.

The typing keys had been left untouched-

The miss of their music the biggest null-

Happiness seemed a distant goal,

Sometimes within reach, sometimes away-

Mocking as you lay cold.

The omniscient eyes now-

A little older,

Lie on the browned grass

And stare upwards- heavenwards.

Watching white clouds drawing trails,

As they trace their own whispery paths-

Casting grey shadows in the azure.

The clouds differ in forms and shapes-

Much like the memories that the 

Mind now encapsulates.

You stretch your hand,

The fingers tracing the cloud patterns-

As the mind stays hushed- reflective and somber.

Sade - let the memoirs rain down 

On the tired mind.

Cleanse and renew soul spirit.

Let the rain give new strength,

And set afloat fresh dreams.

Sade - the sound of a new beginning?

An old pair of Jeans

We stood there,
Leaning against the rusted rail.
Watching the blend of day and night-
With stars slowly coming to life,
Shining bright.
We watched the purple horizon-
Comforted by the passive fire,
Of our presence.
Like an old pair of Jeans,
We were, I thought.
Seen so much -
But known too little?
Since childhood, we'd been,
Enamored by the concept
Of Soul-mates.
Perhaps that did even exist;
And perhaps that's what we were- or not!
What was it between us,
That drew us together,
Like glue or gloves?
Something indefinable,
Yet very complete.
A miracle or a mirror, art thou?
Whatever be it, your shadow,
Leaves me resplendent and replete.
I traversed your gaze,
Across the green meadows,
That stretched for miles-
Sketching out the eons between us.
So much have those eyes witnessed,
Yet have never lost their sheen!
It soon became a little chilly,
I wrapped my stole tighter around me.
You must've noted the murmur,
As you drew me closer to your strength.
And there we remained,
Together.
Lost in the magicality of the moment.

Quicksand

There are things,

That I wish I could tell you -

May be seek some panacea

In an hour of exfoliation.

Maybe in that hour,

No words would pour forth-

Because expression wasn't ever,

A strong virtue.

How can I explain the claustrophobia

That throttles me,

In the thought of any future ahead?
Where's any part of me,

With you?

I don't see a symmetry in design-

Just a structure based on individual musings-

Only with 10 heads-

None I like.

The hydra-headed aftermath-

Of desire,

Could wreck too-

Is my worry.

I don't like the elements in your life-

Because none that are now,

Will ever die.

We are not even then,

In thoughts, actions and sense of justice.

We can never see eye-to-eye!

Partnership, must vest itself 

At the helm of creation, 

Together-

Not living life on individual lanes.

I see you far away-

Floating farther away each day.

I won't pull you back-

You were never mine.

You always belonged to people within

Your vicinity-

Never cared, never dared to look back-

On me.

Sometimes, I fear the faith-

Blindly stored-

Binding in it's essence?

I sink in solitude,

Always so alone.

I never really had you,

With me, completely-

To lose my iron-shield.

Tears come no more-

They are dry now.

Just that I have flung me somewhere

Too remote in these years of wait and watch.

Caustic spirit stokes the flames,

As my heart burns slowly- rotting away.

Maybe I'm cold.

I am scared of the quicksands,

That I see everywhere.

Nowhere is home-

With you too, 

I would never know.

Quicksand, be the leit motif then-

Stalactiting dreams.

I wish I could talk to you-

Wish there was a me,

With you too.

Silence grips my days,

As I melt away.

Letting my shadow,

Trace its own path of secrecy.

I am no more the sunshine girl.

Living for happiness.

All joy seems dissipated-

In wait for the past 3 years,

With no relief from the madness.

All the same.

None too old.

Only now too cold.

I'm sinking-

Powerless to cry out for help.

I don't want to be saved. 

 

Shall we Dance?

Hindsight of the past 3 years,
Reveal the growth of a new face.
The first instance of accidental "touch"-
Perhaps Fate knocking on our doors.
There onwards,
The pages of my journal
Were crusted with memoirs
That stirred the soul.
Steps taken slowly,
Seemed to be a big jigsaw puzzle,
That seemed automated
By the Hand of Time-
To miraculously
Fall in place.
Wisdom dawned,
In moments,
Unbraced for-
Yet awaited with bated breath
The beauty was an innocence
Coursing through
The shy glances.
The name had always hovered
Around - like a cushion.
Against all darkness.
A source of strength,
Lay beckoning in the eyes
Of my sorcerer.
The first finger-lacing
And hands entwined-
Felt like a call from Heaven
Almost-
Like a known soul-meet.
Past life retrogression,
Seems to be of such importance now!
I need to know you through all lifetimes-
That we spin, circling around.
Of love and lust,
Is our fairy-tale,
Everyday, a new experience-
To learn and grow-
A second chance given to life?
May be we both had found each other-
At the time, meant right for us.
How can I put in words,
The wave of emotions,
That catch me in unguarded moments,
When I think of you?
Nothing can be apt,
To frame my feelings
For the completion you bestow-
My shining light,
Of so many lives.
Shall we dance now, love,
Throughout our lifetime?