By the horizon she sat,
A perfectly still form,
Stark against the winter sun.
The waves lapped at her feet,
As her boat rocked gently.
She watched the setting sun,
With dew-ed eyes,
Shimmering in the light.
Dark thoughts flashed across her soul
And she let them
Wash over her.
Maybe to purge than be in purgatory,
Maybe in it's way of drain,
A catharsis was what she'd wanted.
For months, she'd dreamt of being away-
From all.
Lavish the silence,
As it would coil around her.
Nothing but birds and the sea,
To embrace her,
As she would slowly let go.
A lot had pent up,
Over the years,
With no vent out-
Only a sedimented outburst internalized.
She's seen all the faces,
She had loved with her heart-
Walk away and leave her alone.
The hands she'd held in trust,
In turn-turned their backs on her-
As she sat there watching them leave-
Numb and cold.
She had grown up and grown older-
In the last few months,
She would never rewind of her life.
Existence was funny-she laughed,
A thin smile crossing her white cheeks-
Cool against the harsh wind.
No-one chose to be born.
Yet the undeniable flow was out of
One's own control.
Control - a strange word-
Chaotic and quixotic much!
In its charm, vests individual importance,
In its absence, leads trails astray.
The orange hued sky slowly started to darken,
As the silence fell dead in her ears.
She chose that moment to sing-
A song she'd loved as a child.
It brought her closer to her strangely-
Something that she's missed for a while.
Maybe the umbilical chord to soul
Rests in finding oneself in silence-
And may be then can inner peace intervene,
To optimize thought channels towards a positive light.
She missed herself the most-
So dead and fake to the world-
She'd forgotten what her own laugh was like.
All she had uttered were brittle reactions,
That melt into the cacophony.
She liked to blend in these days-
Not to incite any attention her way-
She feared any moment of joy
Turning into a memory she would rush to delete.
Trust was always easy to trample on-
She had seen that too often.
There was little of her,
That she had left-
Mostly sold to the lies that faced her always.
Ashen, her heart heaved suddenly,
As she let out a sob.
Her thoughts flitted to her parents-
Who'd waited eagerly everyday,
To hear her voice speak of the beauty
That her eyes never saw.
May be it would be better this way too-
Soon all would be over,
And one day her parents would learn to live without her.
Slowly she let her fingers let go,
Of their hold on the oars-
As she slid into the black water-
That strangely gave her life a new life ....