Love?

Its a carnival of love,

The license to enjoy sinless,

Leaving past to dust,

And storming ahead.

Holding hands I know,

Avik's or Dad's-

Sure of their love,

Way forward seems easy.

No more the mercurial or suicidal thoughts,

Settling back in deep repose-

Time seems a luxury almost.

Its a surge of emotions,

Love, awe and wonder

Making me softened to touch

And sensitized to surroundings.

The crowd that had irked,

Now seemed a comfort zone.

Far away from the city that ruins,

Curled up on your lap,

I let the tears flow free.

Held back for so long.

The slightest touch of known,

Unzipping the scars.

I hear you croon the soft words,

Feel kisses reign on my hair,

As you rock me and treat me like a child.

But my numbed state observes most 

In slow motion.

Feeling nothing 

Except deep anger.

The longing to lash out

And destroy the pitiable petty pretty face;

Seems like a blood boiling urge.

I think about you,

And feel confusion reign in.

We are both normal,

Chasing the abnormal.

The glitch has to be kicked aside,

Or we cave in.

Hatred courses through me,

As I think of you and me
Stuck in this madness of rat race
And its unending layers that complicate lives.
I shake my curls,
As the tears saturate your shirt.
Looking at you,
I feel sadness tingled with love?