Up in the air

Up in the air,
A thousand miles away and afar-
I let my eyes kiss the horizon,
Daring to look beyond
The clouds that clog my vision.
I find myself dissolving,
Lost in thoughts and prayers,
My mind filled with the images
That I see everyday.
Which dominate my every living second.
I find myself doing the unthinkable.
Lips moving,
I let my soul free from its iron cage.
To spread its wings and whisper the words
That I store in my dark.
Up in the air
I let my thoughts take shape
Form a meaning.
My reason for living now-
All my dreams pinned to one hope.
That strangely seems unreal.
I feel removed,
Much removed from everything,
Numbed be my senses,
As my mind focuses on the rigid chant
Of words.
Unsure of what to place belief in,
The images that seem to
Plague me every minute.
The silent hope that placates my mind.
The belief in a conspiring universe.
Or the harsh and ugly truth of a blind alley.
Footprints in the dark,
My hands reach out to the shadows
To keep me steady.
Barely able to keep,
My sanity in check,
I force the images fade out.
But its always the whisper
That hangs in the wind.
I want to let go,
Give up the fight,
Tell my heart otherwise.
But everytime these images
Of your arms around me
Drug me to dream bigger.
Helpless I await
For the embers to settle in
While the ash turns sooty.
The glow that keeps me warm-
To fade.
While my heart refuses to understand
What rots my mind distraught.
Powerless thus,
Up in the air,
I stare at my own fool's paradise.