Up in the air

Up in the air,
A thousand miles away and afar-
I let my eyes kiss the horizon,
Daring to look beyond
The clouds that clog my vision.
I find myself dissolving,
Lost in thoughts and prayers,
My mind filled with the images
That I see everyday.
Which dominate my every living second.
I find myself doing the unthinkable.
Lips moving,
I let my soul free from its iron cage.
To spread its wings and whisper the words
That I store in my dark.
Up in the air
I let my thoughts take shape
Form a meaning.
My reason for living now-
All my dreams pinned to one hope.
That strangely seems unreal.
I feel removed,
Much removed from everything,
Numbed be my senses,
As my mind focuses on the rigid chant
Of words.
Unsure of what to place belief in,
The images that seem to
Plague me every minute.
The silent hope that placates my mind.
The belief in a conspiring universe.
Or the harsh and ugly truth of a blind alley.
Footprints in the dark,
My hands reach out to the shadows
To keep me steady.
Barely able to keep,
My sanity in check,
I force the images fade out.
But its always the whisper
That hangs in the wind.
I want to let go,
Give up the fight,
Tell my heart otherwise.
But everytime these images
Of your arms around me
Drug me to dream bigger.
Helpless I await
For the embers to settle in
While the ash turns sooty.
The glow that keeps me warm-
To fade.
While my heart refuses to understand
What rots my mind distraught.
Powerless thus,
Up in the air,
I stare at my own fool's paradise.

Walk on

Resigned eyes,
Meet the assigned fate.
Numb veins pulsate suddenly,
With a source of the known.
Dragged and stretched beyond strains,
Burnt down to the ground
The elastic chord of being and feeling-
Find some life returning.
The vacant eyes peered in closer-
Squinting against the dazzling daylight,
With the blinders finally off-
The soul allows itself to be sold.
The wind screeches by,
A reflection of the hollowness within.
While the craggy footsteps,
Find their own path-
Away from the filter of rays.
Darkness is all that the mind seeks,
To burrow itself in -
A cocoon against the information overload.
The child holds her ears,
As she hears all over again
The hated words her brain re-tells.
She looks down with a wry amusement,
At the broken pearl shells -
The whites greyed and faded-
Serrated edges reflecting the words shattered.
Walk on is all she knows.
Away and afar-
From all that breaks.
Yet all shadows too remain sliced.
The reality seems to bleached to have a life.

Mangel

I have seen the winters with you,
Seen through the shards,
To look beyond,
And into you.
To peel the layers,
And peep into your inner being.
What I found,
Is what I'd always known.
A radiant soul,
Sheathed in its own luminosity
Of wisdom and spirit.
The eyes that met mine,
Were captivating in their own essence-
Reflecting me-
As if the years spanned across lifetimes.
With my head on your shoulder-
Comfortably ensconced in its shelter,
I thought back to my own acceptance
Of you, in my world-
While you waited
With your arms outstretched
To make me  break my own shackles
Of caution and skepticism
And follow my heart again.
Breathing in deeper,
The smell of you,
I let my mind wander,
To the glow that you'd brought me-
As your love elevated me to a pedestal
Much beyond the line of sight.
Its a special place-
Where you've put me up so high.
Looking down-
I can only see the million millipedes
As they scatter about-
Plagued by their own normalcy.
Looking at your profile now,
As you drive,
I utter a quick prayer
Of gratitude -
Still struck by wonder-
At the truth of your love-
That won me over me.
And makes me love you more
With every passing day.
In life perhaps then,
I can never thank you more-
For loving my dark
And letting me see your light.
Serenity shines all over me,
As the innocence of the honey-laden days,
Fawn over me in their still-nascence.
While I let me feelings guide me-
No longer letting my illogical mind,
Mind my ways.
I look at you,
Starry eyed- mayhaps-
At the carved features-
Silvery in moonbeam-
And move in closer to you-
To feel you more-
Touch your reality-
As I liken you to
Nothing short of an Angel.

Strange love

The much known eyes,

Looked at each other-

Lifeless in their spark.

A watchful haze unsettled the space,

As the hawk-like gaze,

Awaited any sign of the old.

The warm fingers clasped the dead hand,

In vain attempts to re-start.

While the lips moved,

They spoke words, not believed in.

Faithless and empty,

She nursed her defense,

A vacant wall against his hopes.

Images drawn from the past.

Did little to evoke any emotions.

They only served to hurt,

As they impinged on the door,

Of what it could it have been.

The end had startled both-

Though expected,

Its final blow,

Or death knell,

Was unanticipated in its severity.

And no matter, the questions now,

The ice refuses to thaw.

Love is then,

Just a game of cards-

She thinks-

One wrong move,

And all dreams come,

Tumbling and  crumbling down.

The fear of the future pervades,

Like an ugly stench,

It settles on the lovers,

Now strangers unknown.

She flees away to her own space in her mind-

While he tries to undo and rewind.

Strength seems the signature of their personalities,

But harshness is what they seem to bestow 

On one another.

Seeing the worst,

They apprehend the same from nameless others,

Whom they know would flitter through.

In their lives once again-

As they would let the light in.

They remain silent,

Unsated-yet lost in the myriads questions.

Looking time and again,

To the erstwhile half,

And shaking their heads in 

Bewilderment-

Of the sudden twist and turn in their tale.

The shards of glass remain unheeded to,

While the mirror between them,

Remains shattered in a million pieces.

Burning blades

Tall blades burned,
Surrounding the waif,
 In their claustrophobic circumference.
The smoke- hazes vision
As the grey clouds look down-
Pregnant in their austerity.
Numb fingertips,
Reached out towards the scathing fire,
To feel some life running,
Through the jetlagged veins.
Dry eyes,
Breathed in the black air,
While the grass crackled all around.
Hunched up shoulders cowered further,
As the body withdrew into its shell.
The circumference got constricted further,
As the escape seemed to be steadily eaten up
By the golden flames.
The eagle stared down,
At the smell of the ruin-
The black eyes greeted the horizon-
Adorning its wings.
The call of the wild,
Seemed echoing from an outer world-
A world of the living-
Where the mind refused any human contact with.
Ashen the face,
Sooty and stained now-
Looked around -
Looked out.
Towards yonder,
Where the field were still green,
And sunshine could play with the rainbow.

Karmic-Cosmic

And when I looked into your eyes,
I gazed deep,
To see another lifetime,
Left behind.
The sparks shone the same,
As well as I might have known then-
While completion sparkled,
As we stood electrified in its glow.
Karma dimpled,
As our stars twinkled-
While our hearts sang together,
In  their joyous much known harmony.
The seconds ticked on,
Yet as time stood still-
My hand reached out to clasp,
The much familiar hand,
As the jolt shot right through me.
I recognized its shape and form,
As a molded structure,
From eons beyond-
My soul could recognize your spirit.
I let my senses guide me,
As the fingers touched your face,
Oh so loved and treasured the features !
Much in sync with the magic in the air,
I let my body fold against yours-
A sweet surrender of all my defenses.
I knew,
As an echo from my core-
You and I were bound together,
Much beyond the present -
Into a past-
That must have been pristine in its own beauty.
And our story carried on ,
Like a saga,
To reach an end,
Its destined to.
I trace the smile on your face,
And sigh in your scent-
Trace patterns along the known terrain-
That I proudly call mine.
While the halo of the moment,
Settles in a golden hue all around us,
I let me move in closer to you,
In an unrestrained hold of love-
With a silent prayer on my lips,
To let the path be smoother,
Towards what we seek to bask in our freedom.