An Ode To You..

At times,
Its too much of a pain to bear -
The memoirs of my yester-years,
Flashes of all that
Which had always brought a smile,
Can now only
Be a testimony of my grief.
Remorse struck-
I wander lonely in mind,
Looking for a clue-
Any cue-
To absolve me of my guilt.
My sorrow pools dark-
In my eyes-
As I see your images.
Wishing yet again-
Time after time-
That I had seen you last.
Selfishly I had run away.
From all that had held dear.
Now I pine- for all that's lost.
Urge to hold onto the shreds-
Of the bitter pieces of my fate.
Shattered remains, mar my
Reality of today.
As I let my thoughts,
Cloud my vision.
Without you,
Its a deep void- unconquered.
Shall never be strong enough too.
My soul lies tormented-
As I let the rivulets flow.
My words try to out-pace them-
My means of expunging-
My only panacea-
To hope for some peace-
Within.

Oneday.. Someday...

So many things,
Bottled up,
Dying to break free.
Wish a name could define,
My mind prints.
But so many thoughts,
Run amok.
Tears pour down-
Dry.
Wish you were here-
To lead me away,
From all this farce.
Wish you really did exist-
As I paint out your image to be.
Is it my illusion then,
Of you-
Created by the cobwebs
Of my dreams.
Lucid- liquid-
They spill over-
My boundary of reality.
I imagine,
Sunshine lands,
Of eternal blue horizons.
As we cross all distances,
With hands held-
Eyes lovingly adorning,
All thorns.
You are,
Just a figment of my imagination.
Cleverly crafted,
To escape the fog-
That engulfs my vision.
Perhaps, I do want to
Live in self denial.
Negation of all odds.
Like a child-
Glued to the candy bar.
The ugly sweetness
Of the situation
Sucking me in.
One day soon
I'll draw out of this.
One day I'll get back
To my senses.
Hit back at my reality.