Thoughts

Left in my solitude,
My mind inevitably,
Turns towards you.
All the moments lived,
Flashes past,
In my mind's eye.
Leaving me powerless.
Defenseless-
In their onslaught.
I try to push you,
Out of my thoughts.
But everywhere I look,
Your name resonates.
There is an imprint of you,
In every sphere of my existence.
A wry smile-
Spreads-
At the futility of
All efforts to expunge.
Across the many miles,
I feel more a part of you-
Than apart.
I feel more connected to you,
Than distance may give space to.
I've no sense of right or wrong-
Anymore.
Nor do I know,
What I should want.
Confusion,
Mars my way.
As I let thoughts
Of finality,
Ring a death knell.
Yet deep down inside,
Its not that
What I would have wanted.
Maybe,
Its all for the greater good,
That I will have to
Shed a part of me.
Unwillingly-
Turn my back
On you.
Uncaring of all that
Others have said-
I've always believed in you.
Yet today,
I stand defeated.